Fossombrone Italy, November 1944. Here is a story I will tell on myself.
I have in my possession a German issue belt buckle. It is one of those "GOTT MIT UNS" with the eagle and the swastika. Now I do not remember whether the original owner of this buckle had no more use for it or what.
I had the belt with this buckle, a great pure leather belt. Well that buckle sabotaged me so I threw the leather belt away. Here is what happened. You will remember that when the grape season was on I mentioned how I ate a lot of grapes and the effect they had on me.
I was sound asleep under my blankets on the second floor of this old house in Fossombrone. I awoke with a tremendous tummy ache and a stomach really distended. I knew I had to move fast so leaped out of my fart sack put on my summer slacks and buckled the German belt. Down the stairs I ran and when I reached the door I hollered at the sentry not to stop me as I had not a second to lose making my way to an outdoor pit toilet. The sentry said go for it sergeant major as I rounded the corner of the house I went and down a short lane. To make a little time I went to undo the belt buckle but the more I tried that buckle was not coming undone. My stomach was so tight against the buckle it just was impossible. I stepped over the broken down rock wall well disaster, an absolute explosion. What a mess! Mind you after all that I could get the buckle unbuckled. Too late, so I threw my underwear shorts down the pit and carried my soiled summer slacks back along where I came from. Stopping at the sentry who saw me with an exposed hind end and knew what had happened.
I said do not tell anyone when you go off shift. He assured me he would keep his mouth shut.
I went and cleaned up.This was around 4 am or 5 am. Well by breakfast at 7AM the whole battery, all 200, knew that the Sergeant Major had shit himself. Oh the loss of dignity, but I do not mind telling the sad story on myself. Oh yes I still eat grapes .